Thursday, April 20, 2006

No Love

I am not feelin' the love for CPS today.

Yesterday was a status hearing on our oldest foster son (the one we intend to adopt). We have had him a year and ten months and were told that the papers that needed to be filed in order to terminate his parental rights had been done in February. As it turns out, they were filed April 18th. We don't need to check our calendars to see that is TWO MONTHS after there were supposed to have been filed.

Now we're being told that the state's attorney has "a line on a possible birthfather" that she will be pursuing and birthmom's attorney will be paying her a little visit in jail. We told her attorney that we'd be willing to send a couple of photos a year and establish a P.O. box so that she can send him letters but, at this point, we would not consider visits.

I know I'm not going to get any negative comments on this because no one reads my little blog but let me just say, unless you've adopted through the foster care system and understand that there is a HUGE difference between an open domestic adoption (where a woman chooses the adoptive parents) and an open adoption through foster care, I really don't want to hear that we're horrible people for not wanting contact with this woman.

We have not been given the next court date - the date that termination should happen - and I'm pretty pissed about it. There is no way he will be adopted this year. He is 6 years old and has been in foster care since he was 18 months old. How is this in the best interest of the child?


Anonymous said...


I read your blog when I think about it.


coolbeans said...

I read your blog. :)

I have a niece who was adopted at birth. We haven't seen her since she was born. She's in middle school now and we're hoping they'll open the adoption up a bit more to allow visits.

I also have cousins who were placed with my aunt as foster babies that she has since adopted. There is a difference between my niece and my cousins regarding their adoptions and their bio-parents. I know where you're coming from.

I wish I could say I can't believe a six year-old who has spent nearly his entire life in foster placement hasn't been adopted and given a permanent home - but I can believe it. The system is wretched sometimes.

girlh said...

I think you are the only one that truly knows the situation. It's obvious to me that you are thinking about this little boy first. Go with your gut and don't worry about what ANYONE thinks. I know easier said than done. Keep on keepin' on and I hope you DO have the adoption completed by the end of the year.

HomeFireBlue said...

What girlh said.

You're doing EXACTLY the right thing. Hope it goes faster.


~ bridgette ~ said...

Thanks ladies. I really appreciate your words of encouragement!