On Monday, J and I spoke with T's therapist about our issues. No, not our issues with T, our issues with each other. It was hard and I cried (which I didn't want to do) and I got mad and defensive. Afterward, J went about the day as normal but I fumed. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.
Yesterday I decided to say something. I told J how I felt that some of what she said wasn't fair. I told her that I wasn't sure how to go about not taking things personally. J thinks I don't trust her and honestly, sometimes I don't. She acts so childish sometimes that I don't trust that she will do the responsible thing. Is that my fault, her fault or are we both to blame?
I guess I should focus less on J's part in this and more on what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm supposed to take time for myself and not try to control how J handles things while I'm not around. I'm supposed to stop enabling J - I'm not her mother. And most importantly, I'm supposed to stop seeing J's actions as a reflection on myself. If she wants to act like a fool, that's on her and not a reflection on me.
I'd love to tell you what the therapist said about J and what she needs to do and all the times she totally agreed with me but I won't. It won't help anything.