So the evaluation wasn't really as thorough or professional as I thought it would be. We talked to Dr. C and told him what T does while T was playing outside. Maybe I should have stressed the lying part. He seemed to want to make us feel bad about second-guessing our plans to adopt. He said T needs stability. Well, duh - tell me something I don't know! He said that T is very smart (uh-huh) and that he seems to be showing some symptoms of ADD, not ADHD. He said that bringing another child in the home may cause him to compete for attention and question his place in the home. It may cause his behaviors to worsen. Yes, that's called "regression" and is supposed to be temporary. What I need to know, dear doctor, is whether T needs to be an only child or the youngest child in the home. J and I want at least one more child - a girl. If what's best for T is that he is an only child then T needs to be with another family. I love him and, at the moment, I feel I could parent him for the rest of my life but I do not want to resent him which is what will happen if I can't have a girl because of him.
I really, really, really want to have a daughter. I have the pink room. I have the dolls and tea set. I even have clothes for a girl. I just need the girl!!
So, I guess we'll see what the collaborative answer is - the doctor, the therapist, the cw and us - before any decisions are made.