Friday, June 02, 2006

Holding Pattern

No major changes have occurred recently. That's about as plainly as I can put it.

As previously mentioned, our cw picked T up the night of the 26th and took him to another foster family. They gave him soda and took him to Chuck E. Cheese so he was happy. J and I slept in and ate lots of ice cream and did a fair amount of shopping so we were happy.

Okay, so we fought too - mostly the first day but then we settled down and decided to enjoy our time without T.

Our cw brought T back on the 29th. The first thing he did after he got home was to tell a lie. As I was unpacking his back and sorting his dirty clothes he said, "um, they don't eat until 10:00." It was 8:30 when he said this. I knew he was lying so I said, "well, that's too bad because you're about to take a bath and go to bed." J heard what he said and came in to say, "You know, we have their phone number. We can just call them." Then he realized he'd blown it and admitted that he was lying.

That was four days ago and this morning he tried it again. He told me that he didn't have breakfast yesterday. See, yesterday was the first day we've taken him to daycare in the morning. J and I didn't give him breakfast before he went because we know the daycare serves breakfast. T apparently doesn't know that we know that and saw it as yet another opportunity to get more food. So I said, "you had breakfast at daycare." He just said, "oh."

So I left for work and J took him to daycare. He ran right to the table and demanded a bowl. J reminded him that he needed to put his things away first so he ran to the room to put them away and ran back to the table. Literally ran.

I swear, this food obsession is going to be the death of me. Okay, so I know that it stems from being in foster care but it's so frustrating to always have to police every situation. I hate having to trust that the daycare workers are watching him. It's just a matter of time before he pinpoints the sucker tells them some sob story (like he did at school) and convinces them that we're starving him and get them to give him more food.

Who knows what really happened over the weekend. He was noticeably bigger (in the face and stomach) so they must have fed him a lot - well, that or he stole a lot of food.

Since the cw is so adamant about not moving him, I'm holding on to this....once his parental rights are terminated then it will be time to adopt him. If we refuse, they will have no other choice but to solicit families and choose an adoptive home for him.

So, if we continue therapy and our feelings about him don't change - that is, we don't feel we're the right home for him / cannot parent his particular issues any longer, there will come a time when a line is drawn in the sand.

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